The story of Muammer (32)

I am originally from Turkey, but I don’t really see Turkey as my home. For eight years, I was a teacher in Kenya, and that’s where I truly felt I belonged. Life was different there. People were warm, open, and full of energy. Our school was one of the best in the country, and being part of something so meaningful gave me a deep sense of purpose. It wasn’t just a job—it was a mission, and we were in it together. The feeling of companionship is really important to me. 

The Story of Muammer (32)

Coming to the Netherlands was never part of my plan. I had to leave Kenya because my passport was expiring, and I couldn’t get a new one. Going back to Turkey wasn’t an option—I would have been jailed. So I had to choose: Germany, America, or the Netherlands. I picked the Netherlands because I had friends here who said they were happy. But I wasn’t excited about it. Becoming a refugee wasn’t a choice, it felt obligated. 

The first months in the Netherlands, I tried to adapt quickly. I learned Dutch, I went to school, and I worked hard to integrate. For a while, I thought I was getting there, that I was going to belong. I felt it was happening! But that feeling faded. I missed something I couldn’t quite explain.

The Netherlands gave me stability, but I lost the sense of connection I had in Kenya. I left for a while, travelled, searched for something that felt right. And then reality hit me—I needed to start again in The Netherlands as I do have a reality there. But this time, on my own terms.

I picked the Netherlands because I had friends here who said they were happy. But I wasn’t excited about it. Becoming a refugee wasn’t a choice, it felt obligated. 

Now, I’m focused on building a future that makes sense to me. I want to work with children again because that’s where I feel most like myself. Teaching isn’t just a job—it’s who I am. Organizing projects, working as part of a team, making a difference—it never felt like work, just part of my life. I’ve done other jobs here, like working in a restaurant, and I hated feeling like I was just trading hours for money. I don’t want that kind of life.

There’s a lot I admire about the Netherlands—the opportunities, the safety, the quality of life. But there’s also something missing. In Kenya, people are genuine and connected. They rely on each other, they celebrate together, and they lift each other up. Even at funerals, people find a way to smile, to cheer each other on, because life is short and meant to be lived. Here, people are polite, but I don’t always feel the same warmth. Dutch people value independence so much that sometimes it feels like they don’t need anyone. And when you don’t need anyone, you also don’t really have anyone. There’s a kind of isolation here that I never felt in Kenya.

They rely on each other, they celebrate together, and they lift each other up. Even at funerals, people find a way to smile, to cheer each other on, because life is short and meant to be lived.

Another thing I’ve noticed is that life in the Netherlands is… easy. And that sounds like a good thing, but I think it also takes something away. In Kenya, people face real challenges every day—poverty, inequality, struggle. But because of that, they appreciate life more. They work hard, they find joy in small things, they celebrate what they have. Here, everything is available. If you want something, you send an email, you make an appointment, and it gets done. There’s no real struggle, no real obstacles. And when everything is within reach, what’s left to chase? People here have everything, and yet they often seem unhappy.

How to be more connected, how to rely on each other, and how to appreciate life even when things aren’t perfect. It’s not about having more; it’s about feeling more.

In Kenya, you’re part of something bigger. Here, people are more focused on themselves. I think the Dutch could learn something from that—how to be more connected, how to rely on each other, and how to appreciate life even when things aren’t perfect. It’s not about having more; it’s about feeling more.

I give myself two years to build something that feels right. I don’t know exactly what that will look like yet, but I know I need to create a future that fits who I am. This journey has never been about finding the perfect place—it’s about adapting, learning, and making things work in my own way while being part of a bigger purpose.

 This journey has never been about finding the perfect place—it’s about adapting, learning, and making things work in my own way.